"Well..." I begin across the table, after he's had at least one cup of coffee, there's cinammon buns emitting a heady fragrance from the oven and he's in a pretty good mood.
He freezes. The eyes come up and the brows draw down over the edge of the coffee cup. Sipping stops. Wary eyes menace me with what he hopes is a good balance of love and warning. I plunge in because Pandora's box has been opened and the only way I can shut it now is to pretend I want to discuss the price of brocolli or daylight savings time or how to prevent the dog from doing his business in the neighbor's lawn. So I plunge in.
"Soooo...I'm thinking about my Christmas party these days."
Shucks! The rolls have another three minutes!
Try the testing lines. How will he respond to just THINKing about the party?
"What about it?" he asks, impassively.
I'm in luck! He's playing the indifferent card.
The conversation puts one tentative foot out on a positive path.
Oh, I know he's toying with me now. No growl. A good sign. Go slowly now. Need those rolls.
"Just making a few plans. Lists. You know." I say with an air of detachment.
Not very many thoughts. Not very many plans. Just a few fuzzy thoughts floating around. No commitments. Keep it light, airy. Very airy. Gotta slide things into place before he realizes they've been in place for a WHILE now.
"Well, I have a guest list and a few ideas for food..."
"How many people?"
Easy...easy...this is one of the tricky parts....
"Just family and a few VERY close friends."
"Like how many VERY close friends?"
Okay, this is where it doesn't sound so bad if I name names and not count heads.
"Well, Mom for one," I say vaguely.
Remember to say the word 'one' lots of times, and use the phrase 'of course' profusely.
"....and Missy and her husband and Fran and Mike, of course..."
"Does this mean we have to invite Mike's brother just because he lives with Mike?"
Uh oh...here goes. Don't drown.
"Well, of course...it wouldn't be polite to do otherwise. By the way, he has a new girlfriend and I hear they're inseperable."
Here goes the eye rolling. Yay! The rolls are done! Place them DIRECTLY in front of him.
"And can you set up the card table in the breakfast nook for the kids?"
"I guess so..."
Yes...the rolls have him mesmerized.
"...that's...uh...Missy and Dave's 3 boys and Fran and Mike's two...that's five kids. The card table seats four." His eyes leave the rolls for a damaging moment. This quandary called for a coffee refill.
Stay cool. Solve the problem. Quick.
"That's okay...Mitch is older. I'll put him at the bar."
"Okay."
Was that a small sigh of exasperation?
"Well, the dining room table seats ten, and it's perfect because we have ten adults!" Said with a bounce of delight.
"Ten??!!"
Oh no. Eye rolling has launched into deer-in-the-headlights. Plunge in quickly. Retreat fast.
"I thought you realized. Sure, Honey. ( 'Honey'...Brilliant touch!) Count em...(Oh no! I said the word count! To late to retract)....there's Missy, Dave, Fran, Mike, You and I and Mom of course, and don't forget your brother James...."
"Is he going to be here?"
"Isn't he here every year?"
"Okay..."
Serve up another roll..the one with the big glob of icing.
And then comes the two lines of the conversation that get's repeated just about word for word every year.
"I just don't know how you're going to fit fifteen people into this small house for a party."
"You say that every year, and every year we fit 'em all in."
And he heads for the den and the football game.
Case closed. That's how you do it.
